All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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