In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
