Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
