My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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