it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
They took my balls.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
