it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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