As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
