yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
