btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
