sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
