when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
