He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
