I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
