I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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