great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
