halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
