I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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