Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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