We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
