i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
