if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
