So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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