PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
