so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
