I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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