just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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