got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
