Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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