Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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