Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
