We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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