so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
