well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
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fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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