I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
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i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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