remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So squirting runs in the family.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
