we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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