I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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