I cockslap morals
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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