Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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