He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
