My pussy is not your playground.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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