I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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