She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
