this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
