69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
