Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
