Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
