found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
