I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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