I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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