You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
