I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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