Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.