What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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