ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

  Fav 3 1575 801

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

  Fav 6 5136 1107

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

  Fav 28 1202 8327

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

  Fav 3 2540 1448

  share tweet
  
• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

  Fav 10 1995 922

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

  Fav 17 1165 1644

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

  Fav 25 3803 1071

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

  Fav 13 2751 1117

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

  Fav 4 1036 604

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators

  Fav 8 1317 897

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

  Fav 3 625 792

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.

  Fav 10 876 527

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

  Fav 1 1005 522

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole

  Fav 0 445 610

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon

  Fav 2 346 458

  share tweet
  

Randomize