yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
