the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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