do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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