He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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