I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
