like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
