We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
